Holistic Spiritual Coaching

How to tune into the Wisdom of your Heart

Have you ever found yourself in a meeting, where instead of sharing your ideas, you stay quiet. Are you holding back because you genuinely feel it’s not the right moment, or because you’re afraid of sounding foolish?

Or maybe you’ve been thinking about making a big life change, such as starting a new career, setting a boundary, following a dream. Are you hesitating because it’s truly not the right time, or because fear is whispering, ‘What if I fail?‘

It’s easy to get caught in this mental tug-of-war—overthinking, doubting yourself, replaying conversations in your head, worrying about what others will think.

But have you ever noticed how different life feels when you make decisions from a place of trust and inner knowing instead of fear and anxiety?

When you pause, breathe, and ask yourself, ‘Am I choosing this because it feels right, or because I’m afraid of what might happen?‘

That’s when everything shifts.

The two paths: Fear or Love

There are two primary forces in this world: fear and love.

Fear-based thinking operates from the survival brain, what Positive Intelligence calls the Saboteur mode.

It’s that inner voice telling you to play it safe, prepare for the worst, and avoid anything that feels uncertain or risky.

It’s why you overanalyse every text before hitting send, hesitate to speak up in a meeting, or put off a dream because “What if I fail?”

It’s the reason you replay past mistakes or stress over things that might go wrong, keeping you stuck in a cycle of worry and self-doubt.

Love-based living, on the other hand, is guided by the intelligence of the heart, the deeper wisdom that the HeartMath Institute describes as a state of coherence, where your mind and body work in harmony.

This is what Positive Intelligence calls the Sage mode, where clarity, creativity, and resilience naturally emerge.

Think about a time when you just knew something was right—a decision that felt effortless, a moment of deep connection, or an idea that flowed without struggle.

That’s love-based living in action. 💖

The challenge is recognizing when you’re acting from fear versus love.

Are you declining an opportunity because it genuinely isn’t right for you, or because you’re afraid of failing? Are you staying quiet in a conversation because you’re choosing peace, or because you fear being judged? The difference is subtle, but life-changing.

How Fear-Based Thinking Shows Up

Fear is sneaky. It doesn’t always feel like sheer panic; more often, it shows up in subtle, everyday ways and often goes unnoticed it’s fear that’s running the show.

Overanalysing everything. You replay conversations in your head, overthink simple decisions, and stress over “What if I make the wrong choice?” Instead of moving forward, you stay stuck in indecision, exhausting yourself with endless mental loops.

Perfectionism. You delay starting a project because you feel like you don’t have everything figured out yet. Fear tells you that if it’s not flawless, it’s not worth doing—so you stay in limbo, waiting for the perfect moment.

People-pleasing. You say yes when you want to say no, go along with things that don’t feel right, and avoid conflict at all costs. Fear convinces you that keeping others happy is safer than honouring your own needs.

Procrastination. You keep putting things off, telling yourself you’ll do it later—when you feel more prepared, more confident, or when the timing is just right. But that perfect moment never seems to come.

Control issues. You micromanage situations, stress over things beyond your control, and struggle to trust the process. Fear whispers that unless you handle everything yourself, something will go wrong.

These patterns might feel protective, but in reality, they keep you stuck in a cycle of stress and hesitation, making life feel like an uphill battle. Fear convinces you that avoiding risk means staying safe, but in reality, it’s keeping you from fully living.

How Love-Based Thinking Feels Different

Shifting from fear to love doesn’t mean life suddenly becomes effortless or without challenges. But it does mean that you navigate those challenges with more ease, trust, and inner peace. You stop living on edge, second-guessing every decision, and instead, start moving forward with a quiet confidence.

Love-based living feels like:

Inner calm, even when things aren’t certain. You don’t need to have all the answers to feel okay. You trust that clarity will come when needed, rather than forcing decisions from a place of anxiety.

Decisiveness without overthinking every move. Instead of exhausting yourself with endless “what-ifs,” you start making choices with confidence, knowing that you can handle whatever comes next.

Authenticity: speaking and acting from your truth. You no longer mould yourself to fit other people’s expectations. Instead, you express your needs, desires, and boundaries without guilt or fear.

Resilience: bouncing back from challenges with grace. Setbacks don’t define you. Instead of spiralling into self-doubt or blame, you recognize obstacles as opportunities for growth and keep moving forward.

Creativity: being open to new possibilities. Without fear dictating your every move, you become more open, flexible, and inspired. You trust yourself to explore, create, and dream without the pressure of perfection.

When you live from your heart, decision-making stops feeling like a high-stakes test. Instead of anxious over analysis, you experience a deep, quiet certainty, a knowing that this is the path meant for you.

How to shift from Fear to Love

So, how do you start making decisions from love rather than fear? Here are a few practical steps:

1. Pause & Breathe

Your nervous system responds differently to fear and love. Fear creates tension; love creates openness. When you feel fear creeping in, take three slow, deep breaths. This signals to your body that you are safe and can think clearly.

🌺 Try this: Breathe in for 4 counts, hold for 4, exhale for 6. Repeat until you feel a shift.

2. Ask Yourself: “Is this fear or wisdom speaking?”

If your mind is racing with doubts, pause and ask:
“Is this my heart’s truth or my fear trying to keep me safe?”

If it’s fear, it will feel urgent, stressful, and heavy. If it’s wisdom, it will feel calm, spacious and light, even if the answer is uncertain.

3. Focus on What You Want (Not What You Fear)

Energy flows to where attention goes. So choose wisely. Train your mind to focus on what you want to create rather than what you want to avoid.

🌺 Try this: Spend a few minutes every day feeling into the life you are creating. Don’t worry about the “how”s and “what if”s, just dive deep into the feeling, the energy of it. Let it penetrate your entire being. Now set your intention to pull energy into it from the entire Universe. It’s a BIG Universe and it has infinite gifts it would like to give you. Ask and you shall receive. Pull the energy in from all direction and energise your dream with it.
You don’t need to know how to pull energy, just set your intention and ask the Universe to help. You may not see or feel anything but that’s totally fine, it’s still working.

4. Practice Heart Coherence

HeartMath’s research shows that when we focus on gratitude, appreciation, and love, our heart rhythms become more coherent with out brainwaves. Creating heart-mind coherence this way boosts intuition, decision-making, and overall well-being.

🌺 Try this: Place your hand on your heart and recall a moment you feel truly grateful for. Feel that gratitude flood your heart with every inhale, expanding and energising it. Feel that warmth spread through you, creating a glowing bubble of love and gratitude around you.

5. Make it bigger than the Universe

When you focus on an energy and keep expanding it until it’s bigger than the Universe (you don’t need to know how, just play with it), what is Love based and therefore true will become more substantial, it will feel more real and alive. However, what’s Fear based and therefore a lie will dissipate and go away.

🌺 Try this: Focus on a fear that’s currently coming up for you. This could be a fear that’s holding you back from moving forward, of being seen, of being judged or rejected etc. Feel this fear in your body and start expanding it, until it grows bigger that the planet, bigger than the galaxy and bigger than the Universe. Is it still there?

Now try the same with the energy of joy you felt when you were unapologetically yourself. This could be a childhood memory, when you were joyfully engaging in an activity. Start expanding this energy of You until it’s bigger than the Universe. How does that feel now? Did it grow stronger or weaker?

Fear vs. Love: The choice that changes everything

From an early age, we’re conditioned to operate from fear. Society tells us to be cautious, to anticipate failure, to constantly strive for approval. We’re taught that success comes from hustling, overanalysing, and playing it safe.

But the heart knows a different way.

When you start tuning into your heart’s intelligence, the deeper wisdom beyond logic and fear, you begin to experience life differently.

Decisions no longer feel like exhausting mental battles. Stress loses its grip. You feel a quiet, steady confidence guiding you forward.

Instead of second-guessing yourself, you start trusting your intuition.

Instead of overanalysing every possibility, you take action with ease.

Instead of striving to be “enough,” you recognize that you already are.

Fear will always whisper reasons to stay stuck, to wait until you feel “ready,” to avoid risks. But your heart?

It already knows the way.

So today, pause and ask yourself:
Am I making this decision from fear or love?

Because love is always the way forward. 💖